11

 

You are the size of a lime today (the big kind I hope...not those little tiny ones!). From what I've read you currently have a really, really big head! In fact your head to body ratio is 1:1. That's pretty crazy little baby. But don't worry your little top heavy self...we still love you :)

10

Today little one you are the size of a prune! I've never eaten one, but I can assure you that you're way cuter! This week you'll be working on building up your little bones, and your little knees and ankles too. You can move your arms already (because you aparently already grew elbows!). Your teeth are growing too and your tiny stomach is already making its "juice". I get to see you in a two weeks! We're so excited!

growth

Baby Ham 11 weeks 6 days

Today was our/my first OB appointment as a "pregnit" lady, and to boot I got to see my little ham again. We got to see the baby for a few minutes, see it wiggle and shake and flail its arms, and hear its heartbeat too. It was so amazing and once again I got all teary. It just seems so surreal and it still really hasn't hit me. The baby was/is so beautiful, and it was just so amazing/weird that that little thing is growing and moving around somewhere in there. I really enjoy getting to see the baby, I think it helps me a lot to remember that I'm not just sick for any old reason, or tired, or whatever...it's really hard to fell attatched when you don't really look or feel pregnant (apart from feeling sick) and you can't feel the baby either. I'm a big fan of the ultrasounds!

When the ultrasound was over, and with a swift congratulations my doctor proceeded to leave the room. What? I was pretty sure I needed some professional answers to the 6 weeks of questions I had been working on. It was so strange and a little bit of a let down. She has always been so good about taking time with me in the past, I hope that the visit was more of a reflection of how busy they were that day, and not how the rest of the pregnancy and birth will go. I had a million questions to ask her, like, "why does it hurt when I sit down?", "how many attendants can I have at the birth,?", "why am I getting sicker as I approach the 2nd trimester?", "I'm concerned I'm not getting enought of veggies and protein"....She did okay our doula (Cybil!!), but mentioned right away how sometimes doulas can be more concerned about the "experience" of birth, rather than the safety of the baby and mom. (whatever) We ended the appiointment with Thomas getting ito a little hissy fit with the receptionist/nurse/lady, and me just sitting there like the monkey in the middle. If it weren't for the fact that she still had the picture of my little baby I would've booked it. It was that uncomfortable...I think they were on to us...all in all I'd say it was a bust (apart from seeing little baby ham that is). I meet with my nurse midwife on friday ( I guess even if you requested a dr. that's who you'll be seeing at Kaiser) so hopefully she'll be able to answer my questions (and run labs!).

9

You are the size of a green olive this week and have started to move around in there (and I swear I felt you move the other day!?!?!?!!??!). You've grown a whole inch since last week and you are working on growing all of your little muscles so I can feel you move around in there (more) and play hockey with daddy someday. Oh and did I mention you're not an embryo anymore? You are now officially a fetus...Congrats little baby!

I have been super bad at updating this thing and I'm seriously beginning to doubt my ability to do so for 31 more weeks :) (maybe). I actually turn a "new week" on Thursdays, so tomorrow I'll be 10 weeks. So much for accurately recording the bump. I'll have to get a better schedule down. It's just really hard to take pictures of yourself, and to like them enough to put on the internet. Oh well, it's still so fun!

I always think of things to write about, but then forget. So I'm going to steal an idea from a sweet lady that I've been friends with (she's a soulcyster! I know, silly name, she's from a PCOS online group that I'm a member of) for a while now (in internet land of course). Her struggle with IF just recently ended too! She's about 15 weeks or so and every week she does these little pregnancy updates.

Oh and I totally think I felt the baby move! It was the strangest most insane sensation and I've never felt anything like it. It felt kind of like a mix between fluttering and a strange electrical sensation or pop. It was so fast, but I was pretty excited. I know that the baby cannot voluntarily move yet, but I know that it "spontaneously twitches" (hehe)...who knows, I think I'll have to wait a few more months to be sure. We did hear it's/(their :) heartbeat at 6 1/2 weeks. Maybe it's just an overachiever, or it could be a brute. 

9 week update!

How far along: 9 weeks and 6 days

Symptoms: So far so good! I get some nausea randomly throughtout the day which tends to hit pretty heavy at night. I'm super tired, but I have been managing to exercise daily, which I think is great (my dogs do too!). I'm still super bloated too and really gassy. I've started to get some headaches and lower back/tailbone/hip pain (ouch!!!!!) which is my biggest complaint. My mom had a lot of trouble with sciatic pain and with her hips, well, not working. I hope it's not genetic :)

Total weight gain: None yet :)

Maternity clothes: Just a few pairs of jeans that I've been gifted. I did manage to find this really awesome pair at the thrift store! They are so nice and soooo comfy (and I think I look really cute in them!) and were only $4 bucks! I like to wear baggy shirts. I look like I'm four months pregnant sometimes and I'm so paranoid that I'll be out and someone will ask "how far along are you?" and I'll have to respond something like "not as far along as you're thinking, I'm just full of excriment and air, check back in a month or so". So, on with the baggy shirts!

 

Stretch marks: I've gotten a few on my chest, but thankfully none yet. (that would be pretty bad if you were already getting stretch marks at 9 weeks) Plus I already have a million from "growing". This question doesn't really count yet.

Sleep: Sleep has been "something to be desired". I've been a major slacker and have been going to bed waaaaayyyyyy too late. I do sleep in some mornings (until around 9 :) but my "night" time sleep has been really crappy. I hate our bed. My back already hurts and I think it's just making it worse. It's like sleeping on a roll of quilted nothern ultra and/or mamma bears bed. It should be illegal to make beds that cooshy. I think if I had a more stable surface to sleep on my back wouldn't hurt so much. Plus I've been sleeping like such a mad woman and thrashing around all night and boiling Thomas up that sometimes he goes elsewhere to sleep, which is sad, and kind of scarry because I'm afraid of zombies. Peeing is a problem too, but we'll save that for another day.

Best moment last week: Being at Liturgy on Monday night and thinking about if next year I'll be up there with a little boy :)

Movement: Nothing yet...I think :)

Food cravings: Still on that rice krispie kick. I don't know if it's the cold milk and the crunchy blandness or it's iron fortification that I'm craving but I really can't get enough. I've seriously have three bowls already today.I'm still really growwed out by chocotale (like chocolate bars or see's) and not really into spicy or seasoned things.

Belly Button in or out: In.

What I miss: Sushi, Sushi, Sushi, Sushi, Blue Cheese, Sushi, Sushi, Sushi, Sushi....get the point.

What I am looking forward to: My first prenatal appointment with the OB!!!! She has been my OBGYN for a few years now and she is the sweetest, most gentle, kind lady that I've ever met (who's in that line of work of course :). I really can't wait to see her and the baby again. I actually have a count down, 14 more days.

 

Milestones:Hmmmm? For me jsut being pregnant is a huge milestone!!!! But I suppose, getting past the 8 week mark is realy exciting too. And hey, how bout that whole fetus thing?

 

How is daddy? He's doing well. He's super upset that I keep bringing up the whole "are you sure you don't want to find out, cause today, I kind of think I might want to" thing. It REALLY makes him mad. So we won't talk about it anymore. And we won't find out. He was reading this book "your pregnancy week by week, for the father to be" but I don't think he was really paying much attention to what it was saying (as evidenced by comments like "pregnant people look so fat and gross" and "are you sure you need to eat that, this late" and "I don't know why you're being so emotional", also I'm pretty sure chapter three reccomended to "get your partner a special gift"....yeah, he must have skipped that part) Oh well, I still love him!

How are the grandparents? They are super excited!

8

Today little baby, you are the size of a large raspberry! You are working on looking more and more human and less like a little tadpole. You'll be busy this week growing some lips, a nose and tiny eyelids...and maybe even some less webbed feet and fingers. My books say you will start moving this week too! Twitch away little baby! 


It's the strangest thing being pregnant, well "early" pregnant that is. Apart from not being able to button my jeans for any apparent reason, I don't really feel pregnant. I kind of feel like I just have a really, really mild flu. You know, achy, nauseated, and not to hungry for most things. I've only thrown up twice to date, so that's really exciting, and I'm super thankful! I can't wait to get a little belly though, and to be able to feel the baby move! I can definitely notice more and more that something is there, and I kind of get excited on days when my stomach sticks out a little more than usual :)

Joy

I am completely and utterly overflowing with peace, joy, awe, so much so that it seems "overwhelming" at times...in the best way of course. The sun seems to be a little brighter, the world more illumined with it's light, its colors more vibrant, and its smells more sweet.

I can't help but feel that these feelings are completely a reflection on the immature state of my soul, and the more I experience this extreme happiness and thankfulness, the more I can't help but see this image of a child crying over a special something that they really, really want, and even think they need, while the parent(s) sit back in their infinite greatness, with the knowledge that "no, that's really not what you "need" right now"...and then somewhere in the middle of a screaming flailing tantrum, they change their minds and give in. I feel this to completely be the case...and I honestly feel like I let a little part of myself down. The smarter, more humble and patient part of course (though tiny it is). It makes me feel like I've ruined this beautiful painting that God was trying to paint for me, for us. The painting of course, being the suffering that has enveloped the last two years, and I feel like, had I accepted it and endeavored to learn more from it, this blessing could have come with a lot less guilt attached.

Christmas time really brought about a little bit of a change for the better in me, if I may say so. I remember feeling so miserable that I wasn't even able to enjoy the Christmas season. How terrible! I remember thinking that, God, knowing my selfish, "take everything for granted" personality, knew that the only way for me to be able to truly be thankful for pregnancy, and children, was to show me the other side, and to have me live through it.  Most of the time I wasn't too happy about that. At all. I am thankful though. Thankful for the experience, and thankful that it is over (hopefully). So thankful. But completely still feel utterly and totally undeserving....

Mi familia....

Es mucho EXCITED!!!! 

(well the soon to be auntie anyway)

Lauren says, "Prengnacy=weird dreams"

I've made it a point to remember my silly dreams and record them (somewhere that won't let me forget).

So here they are:

(my favorite) The Latina Spider Hunter
So in this dream, I was a "Latina" (I'm pretty sure I was a hottie) spider hunter. I traveled with my Abuelo and Hermano (who was not all there) in non other than, a blue oxidized chevy impala (an early 60's model I think). I'm not sure where we were hunting spiders at, it kind of seemed like we were on a safari, but I managed to catch the one I was looking for and put it in a specimin container (like the kind Kaiser would give you to pee in). "Something went amis" and next thing I knew the spider was lowering itself from my visor (though I was not driving, or in the front seats) which is my all-time-real-life-spider-fear, that one will lower itself in front of me while I am driving and bite me on the face. There was nothing I could do, I was pretty much paralized with fear, and the spider in it's vengance lowered itself right onto my eye, the good one (my right eye), and bit me. 

(first birth dream) Do they make toddler sized newborn clothes?
This one was actually a birth dream that I had after watching this movie for the umpteenth time. The dream was essentially like this: I gave birth to an 18 pound baby (who looked like a toddler already) who looked like a mix between my godson and husband, at home, and had no pain at all. Ha! The kid had curly hair like a cabbage patch kid, huge cheeks, and all I could think was "man I had an ugly baby and what am I going to do with all those baby clothes I got/bought...I kind of wanted a newborn!" (not that James or my husband are ugly or anything....the baby/kid just was). I gave birth alone on the floor, well almost alone, apart from my father-in-law lying on the bed playing tetris on a gameboy, everyone else abandoned me. Thomas was running around like a chicken with its head cut off, and ended up staying in the kitchen so that he could watch the clock, so we could record the exact time that the baby was born. My mom was in there too, doing dishes and crying, I think she was mad that we had a homebirth, though it wasn't intentional. It was so strange.